When The Negative Self Talk Sneaks Up On You...


Confession: I almost didn’t post this photo because of my thoughts about my body.

And ya know what’s funny? I took this picture because I think women spend too much time worrying about whether or not to wear shorts or a tank top in summer because of body insecurity. But then there I was, looking at this photo thinking things like “Why didn’t I think to use self tanner?” “I really thought my legs were more toned.” “I wish I didn’t have so many lumps and lumps.”

I mean… I don’t know WHY I feel such a strong pull to share my innermost deep thoughts about my legs with you, other than I think we all know we do it. And I think we all know that we don’t want to.

Somewhere along the line as a society we decided that women were supposed to be a certain size and have the body and tan of a Barbie doll. And as someone who is actively trying to change this cycle and help women free themselves from these conversations, I still sometimes have them. #truth

That’s real life! I can teach you about how to boost your confidence, and about how to dress to feel your best, and how to love yourself unconditionally, but that doesn't mean I’m not going to have to continue to keep my mind in check. These thoughts come up… and then I say “That’s not something that really matters.” and post that picture on the internet.

Confidence is not a linear line. It’s a muscle that has to be worked on. The key is to realize your confidence and the way you speak to yourself is crucial to your happiness and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

So what did I say to myself after I realized I was NOT speaking kindly to myself?

You look beautiful in this picture because you are joyous and genuinely happy.

You put together an outfit that makes you smile.

You take care of yourself and your body.

Your legs and body are so strong. Look at all that it can do and accomplish every day, just for you.

These words sometimes seem silly and almost self explanatory. But that’s not true when you are trying to change a pattern of negative self talk. You have to remind yourself all the time. You have to say those sentences to yourself until you believe them. You have to find new and different ways to tell yourself how beautiful you are. You have to be consistent. You have to let those thoughts come and then tell them they don’t matter and aren’t true. Those thoughts are not facts unless you allow them to be.

While I know this is something you may be thinking is no big deal, the whole reason I’m writing about this is because we have to start believing it IS a big freaking deal. We have to stop thinking it’s ok to see photos and do nothing but look at the one thing we didn’t like. While these moments of feeling insecure occur, that doesn’t mean we need to dismiss them and think it’s “normal”. You don’t deserve to be talked to this way by anybody, especially yourself. You are too amazing for that and so am I.