What To Do If Nothing Sparks Joy


Everyone has been talking about it like it’s SO easy. “Just ask yourself if it sparks joy!” they say. Marie Kondo has invaded our brains and while I love and agree with so many of her philosophies, there is something that happens more often than not that should be addressed. I recently had a “style blazer” (my crew of stylish mavens paving the way to their own confident closet) ask me a question that really made me think.

“What do I do if nothing sparks joy?”

Have you ever had that moment where you look at your clothes and you say “ I hate everything in my closet. I detest all of my clothes and I want to just start.freaking.over.”? I know, I get it and I’ve been there too.

Back when I had my daughter my closet was no longer working for me. I was so frustrated every morning that my clothes were all for a lifestyle I no longer had (who needs that many cute dresses that I can’t nurse in?), a body that was no longer mine (kids will do that to ya…), and that just didn’t feel like ME.

Can you relate? I bet you can. Cause here’s the thing. This is super common! We go through these huge life transitions and expect our wardrobes to stay exactly the same. Which is pretty silly if you really think about it. Like.. why would I have two kids and expect to have anything but maternity clothes (that don’t fit now that I’m not pregnant) and pre pregnancy clothes.

So what did I do? I took my years of styling experience and I put them to good use. Essentially I was my own client. I spent some major time figuring out what was making me so miserable in my closet and then I actively changed it. I went from nothing sparking joy to my closet making me ELATED. The end result was not just a well functioning closet, it was a new found sense of self. That’s really how The Confident Closet was truly born. But that’s a post for another day. For today… I want to get back to the task at hand.

What are you going to do if you hate everything in your closet?

  • But Why?: First you are going to identify the why behind it all. WHY do you hate everything in your closet? Is it because your clothes don’t fit the way you’d like? Is it because everything is worn in and it’s time for a refresh? Usually you’ll find a common theme.

  • Edit It Down: Next you’ll have to do some real editing. So often we think we don’t like anything but when we analyze each item that’s not the case. Maybe you love that skirt, but it needs to be hemmed. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy! You can totally make that work! Or maybe you are holding on to a cardigan that used to be your favorite but it’s not anymore. That’s an easy one to donate. Each piece has a story and identifying it helps you get to the bottom of what’s really going on for you.

  • Get Inspired: Once you’ve truly taken a look at what’s working in your closet and what isn’t, the fun part begins. Now you can start shopping for a few new pieces that will help you create outfits with the items already in your closet. Or can you? There is one crucial step I want you to make sure to do before you head to your favorite store. I want you to spend some time getting inspired on what your style is NOW. So often nothing “sparks joy” because you are no longer the person who bought those items of clothing. So who  are you now? What is your style now? Allowing yourself to create this version of your personal style is quite freeing and such an excellent exercise in self expression. It will also help you gain clarity as you shop.

  • Time to Shop: Now that you are clear on your personal style and why you had so many clothes you didn’t love, you can shop with intention which is the only way to not end up in the same situation again. I would also look for a few new accessories. It’s such an affordable way to spice things up. It also helps when you are trying to complete a look to have some fresh pieces.

I also wanted to chat about what having a lot of clothes in your closet that don’t fit you does for your mindset. If every time you go into your closet, and you are staring at a lot of clothes that you wished fit you, you are not going to be excited about the clothes that DO actually fit you. It’s also the main culprit for the “I have a closet filled with clothes and nothing to wear” syndrome. Your new body is pretty rad and you should want to celebrate it, not wish it fit into old clothes. But if those clothes are constantly reminding you of a different time and body, it’ll be harder to live in the present. And I truly don’t want that for you! I’m going to be talking about this more in next weeks blog post. Stay tuned you guys!